Cats, Kisses, and Awkward Silences
by AllHailTheQueen
Summary: Eva spends the night with Fred, but of course he can't resist a good old prank the next morning. What will Molly say?


This is just a short thing I wrote, and if you're wondering who Eva is, it's the main character from 'I Have A Thing For Morons'. I felt like writing something in third-person, so I did this.

It's set sometime around DH.

I wasn't sure what to rate it, honestly. There's some very implied things, but nothing explicit… So I rated it T. If you think I should go ahead and change it to Mature, (because I was in doubt about the first section of it), then please, tell me!

... ... ... ~XX~ ... ... ...

"Fred, I don't think your mother would appreciate us doing it in her house." Eva whispered, breath hitching as Fred kissed the curve of her jaw.

"No, it's okay. I learned a couple spells… hang on." He grabbed his wand from beside the bed, pointed it at the door, and muttered "Colloportus." the door locked with a 'squelch' noise. He muttered something else, and the noises of outside suddenly ceased.

"What was that?"

"Imperturbable charm. Learned it from watching Mum use it back at Grimmauld Place to stop us from eavesdropping." He smiled happily and he kissed Eva again. "God bless that woman."

Eva snorted. "I doubt she'd like knowing you were using it so we could-"

"Well you see, that's what makes it fun." he interrupted.

"Hmm…so you're saying that the fact you're mother wouldn't like it is what makes it fun, not the act itself?"

Fred looked horrified. "No. That is most definitely not what I meant."

Eva decided that they had done enough talking. She grabbed the collar of his shirt and yanked on it.

"Take this off." she demanded.

Fred grinned as he obeyed. "Well, someone's getting impatient."

Eva pulled his face back down and kissed him, running her hands along his bare skin.

She pushed him away a bit, then pulled her shirt off.

'_Meeoow.'_

Eva and Fred froze, then Fred climbed off of her and looked under the bed. Hermione's cat, Crookshanks, meowed again. Fred grabbed the ginger cat and walked across the room.

"I wish she would keep her cat out of here." he said.

Eva lay back against the pillows again. He does have a rather nice body, she thought as she watched Fred unlock the door and throw the cat out. All those years of playing as a Beater had given him a rather muscular physique.

Fred unbuttoned his pants then tried to pull them off as he walked back towards her.

And of course his leg got tangled in the pants.

"Dammit!" he cried as he fell forward onto the floor.

Eva burst into laughter as he pulled himself up and sat on the bed, a smile on his face.

"Okay, so this isn't going exactly as planned." he admitted.

"Silly Freddie. Things never go according to plan." she said as she stood up.

"You're leaving?" he asked. His face was surprised, and obviously, disappointed.

"Course not." she said as she grabbed his trousers and finished pulling them off. "I didn't want you to get hurt trying to take them off again."

"Very funny."

"I thought so." Eva said as she tossed them onto the floor.

He scooted back and she knelt on the edge of the bed as their lips met again. He kissed her roughly now, almost hungrily, Eva would have thought, were she capable of any rational thought at that moment.

For the next half hour, her thoughts were similarly muddled.

She eventually collapsed to the bed, and Fred collapsed mostly on top of her. She felt a trickle of sweat run down his brow and onto her as they both lay there regaining their breath.

Fred eventually rolled off of her, then propped himself up on his elbows.

He looked at her laying there, eyes roaming over her naked body. She met his eyes for a long moment, then they both began to smile.

"You know, it's going to be impossible to find all our clothes." Fred said as he ran a hand lightly up her arm.

"Well…" Eva paused and drew in a slightly shaky breath. "I'm in no hurry to find them."

Fred's grin grew wider as he leaned down to kiss her. "Somehow, neither am I."

... ... ...

Eva opened her eyes the next morning and saw Fred's large freckled nose nearly touching her eye. When she blinked, her eyelashes tickled his nose and he sneezed all over her face and promptly woke up. Eva bolted upright, the covers sliding down and pooling around her stomach.

"Nice, Fred. What a great morning-after welcome." she said, wiping her face off in disgust.

He let out a sleepy noise that sounded like he was either trying to laugh at her, or mumble something.  
Eva decided to take the noise as an apology.

She lay back down beside him, yawning and wondering just what time it was. The sun was getting high in the sky, so it was probably pretty late in the morning. Eva wasn't surprised. She and Fred had gotten very little sleep last night.  
Very little.

Eva stretched her sore, tired muscles and eyed Fred. He looked somehow more innocent when half-asleep, certainly not like the prankster he really was. Fred muttered again, then his eyes opened slowly.

"What time is it?" His voice was sleepy and slurred.

"I don't know."

He nodded, then sat up and rubbed his eyes. He didn't move for a moment, but then he yawned and looked over at Eva. A grin that could only be described as wicked lit up his face.

"What?" she asked.

He didn't answer her, but instead stood up from the bed, still grinning. He wiggled his eyebrows at her as he stretched, making sure Eva got a nice view of him.

"Fred" she said, shaking her head.

He pulled on his trousers and a shirt, then picked up her clothes and approached the bed. Eva thought he was going to give her her clothes, but instead he grabbed the cover from the bed and yanked on it, pulling it off of Eva. He gathered everything up in his arms, her clothes and the blankets, then ran for the door.  
Eva's eyes widened as she leapt from the bed. The little git was going to steal her clothes!

He yanked open the door and shut and locked it quickly.

"Fred, open this door!" she said loudly.

"No can do, Eva." he said from the other side.

Eva ran her hands through her hair and went to the wardrobe. She could at least throw something on, she thought. But when she opened the doors, she saw that the wardrobe was completely empty. She stared at it for a long moment, then stomped back to the door.

"Fred Weasley, I am going to seriously hurt you if you don't open this door and give me back my clothes."

She could hear his muffled laughter as he walked down the steps, probably going get some breakfast.

Eva turned to look around the room. She checked the dressing table, where she had left her wand.  
And, as she suspected, it was gone.

Damn you, Fred. She thought savagely, face bright red.

Eva walked to the window and looked out. It was only on the second floor. She could climb out, then sneak back into the house, up the stairs, and to her room.

Yeah. That would work, she thought. But she certainly wasn't going to do all that without a scrap of cloth on. Eva grabbed the pillow and tore the pillowcase off. She shook her head as she looked at it, then pulled at the thread that held the end shut. She could always fix the pillowcase back later, once she had finished murdering Fred.  
It came unraveled, and once she had torn some thread off the sides, she had something that vaguely resembled a dress. Just a really short one. Eva slipped it on, pulling it as low as it would go. Still, it barely covered her bottom.

I am so going to make him regret doing this, Eva thought as she pushed up the old wooden window and climbed out onto the shingled ledge.

Eva grabbed onto a post that was nearby and shimmied her way down, wincing in pain as she felt splinters going into her legs. Once her bare feet touched the ground, Eva pressed herself against the wall and looked around for any sign of anybody.

It seemed clear, so she edged her way inside.

She passed the kitchen and saw Fred sitting at the table, shoveling bacon and eggs into his mouth. He happened to glance over at the hall and his eyes widened when he saw Eva. He inhaled sharply, sucking food down his throat, which sent him into a coughing fit. His eyes kept going to the hallway, where Eva stood with her arms crossed, glaring at him. He noticed her glaring, but his eyes certainly didn't stay on her face, and instead kept traveling down the length of the pillowcase all the way down to her bare feet.

"What's wrong, Fred?" asked Mrs. Weasley, her voice concerned. Eva scrambled up the stairs before someone could walk in on her standing half-naked in the hall.

She dressed quickly and went down to the kitchen, where Fred had finally gotten over his coughing fit.

"Morning, Mrs. Weasley." she said cheerfully.

"Oh, good morning, dear. You're up late." Mrs. Weasley said, cracking a couple of eggs open in a pan.

"I've been really tired lately, that's it." Eva said, while glaring at Fred.

"You're dead." she whispered to him. He merely smiled.

"What's that, dearie?" Mrs. Weasley said, turning around.

Her eyes roamed over Eva and to Fred, and she frowned. "What's that on your neck, Fred?"

Fred clapped a hand over his neck.

"Nothing. What are you talking about?" He said quickly. "There's nothing on my neck. Say, Mum, can I have some more bacon? Like, right now."

Eva covered a smile with her hand. This was going to be embarrassing as hell, but undoubtedly funny.  
Ginny and George walked into the kitchen and sat at the table, watching their mother curiously as she squinted at Fred and walked across the kitchen.

"No, I think there is something there. Is that a rash, Fred? Did you have an allergic reaction to something you ate?"

George and Ginny looked over at Fred to see what their mother was talking about, but Fred now had both hands pressed over his neck. Eva was amused to see his face turning slightly pink. It's about time he got embarrassed about something, she thought.

Mrs. Weasley grabbed Fred's hands and pulled them aside, examining the few love-bites on Fred's neck.

Her eyes narrowed, and she snapped her fingers. "Shirt off, Fred."

George and Ginny snickered, and they both ignored the glares they received from Fred.

"Mum, you can't be serious." Fred protested. "I'm an adult now."

"Yes, but you're still my baby boy."

Fred reluctantly pulled his shirt off. George burst out laughing, and Ginny turned pink.

Love-bites were clearly outlined across his skin, from his chest all the way down to the spot below his belly-button where his trousers covered the skin.

"Getting a little low there, aren't they, Fred?" laughed George "Hmm…I wonder how much father down they go?"

"Don't even." said Fred darkly.

Ginny was now making strange noises that Eva suspected were attempts to stifle giggles.

Mrs. Weasley hadn't said anything, her mouth had only dropped open slightly, but now she glanced over at Eva.

"It was you who did this to him, I presume?"

"Nope."

"What?" everybody in the room said in unison, including Fred.

"Joking. I did do all those. Can we change the subject now?" she asked awkwardly, her face burning.

Fred pulled his shirt back on. Mrs. Weasley went back to her cooking, though every once in awhile she would glance over her shoulder at Fred, and then look at Eva.

The kitchen was uncomfortably quiet until Ginny cleared her throat. "So…er… the weather. It's really, uh, nice today."

"Yeah… good day for quidditch." said Fred.

"Mmmhmm."


End file.
